A Most Blessed Pashca May 31, 2011

April 23 and 24, 2011

Pascha 2011 was the most Blessed Pascha we have had really since our first Pascha together as husband and wife 7 years ago.
Mainly due to having Noah on Good Friday 6 years ago, being prego with Silas the next year and then my health took a turn for the worse when i develop Postpartum cardiomyapthy 4.5 years ago
.

This year I was feeling wonderful therefore I was prepared, made all the traditional Pascha food for our basket.
Eric Served and the kids were angels for me during the 3.5 hour service that started at 11:30pm.
It is the most beautiful service and I am so blessed that my children, love it, understand it and look forward to it.

It was just the most beautiful and Blessed Pascha in years!

I did not have the opportunity to take as many pics as I would have liked or as many as I normally do. With Eric serving i was preoccupied with the kids and soaking up each and every second of the service. However, I did take a few good videos and really Video is so much better when it comes to documenting a Pascha Liturgy.

Each year for the 40days before Easter we observe Great Lent in which we fast from meat. diary, oil, wine and most seafood. We also lay low meaning we do not host or attend parties and we use this time to reflect and pray.,
After the Holy Pascha midnight service each Family fills their “pascha basket” with ham, kielbasa, cheese, diary and oil products and we all go to the hall and ‘break the fast together” It is the perfect ending to a perfect middle of the night Celebration.
We usually get home around 4:30/5am just as the sun is coming up and the birds chirping. It is the most wonderful time of the year for us.

CHRIST IS RISEN!!!!
INDEED HE IS RISEN!!!

The Tomb of Christ lays in the front of the middle aisle. As each person enters the church they Venerate the tomb of Christ by doing three full prostrations and kisses the plashchanitsa

Silas looking sleepy and “Rewwy want my bed, but I like being at church in the middle of the night mama,mama rub my back please”
Silas is the sweetest little guy around:-) Zofia was her lively diva self from the minute we woke her up at 10:45pm

Noah, Silas and Zofia durning the procession at midnight.
I bought the cutest linen suits and ties for the boys and the most fabulous dress for Zofia. Sadly we did not get a portrait style pic of them on Pascha but we will be dressing them up in the Pascha outfits and having a photo shoot soon:-)

Procession at Midnight

Blessing of Baskets

A very magical New years May 3, 2011

For the first time in years we decide to stay in on New Years Eve and celebrate with the kids. 2010 was a year of much positive change for our family and 2011 will be a year full of even more positive change and new endeavors and i just wanted to stay home with my amazing husband and beautiful children and celebrate the end of 2010 and the begining of 2011

We had the kids take a later nap so they could stay up late.
We ordered Asian food, i made lots of yummy, healthy snacks, we had sparkling juice for the kids, watched a movie and then watch the festivities in Chicago and NYC on TV and played games.
I bought fun hats and noise makers and we had and absolute BALL. This was the best New years Eve!

We rang in 2011 with the kids at 10pm

We put the kids to bed at about 10:45. About a half hour later we hear little foot steps piddling down the stairs. Noah and Zofia did not want to miss out on the “real” celebration.

I was so curious as to what Silas our “party animal was doing and why he did not Join his big brother and little sister. So i went up to his room and was quite shocked when i saw this.
\
Bless his heart, He was passed out. This was out of the norm for Silas our little “frat boys” LOL

Christmas 2010 March 18, 2011

CHRIST IS BORN!! GLORIFY HIM!!!!!!
December 24 AND 25, 2010

Every year on Christmas eve morning. We pack up the van for the day and head to the city for a very yummy Breakfast at Ann Sathers in the Andersonville Neighborhood of the city. It is our little family tradition we started the first year we were married. The food is amazing and they have the best cinnamon rolls which they are famous for here in Chicago.
We buy several dozen rolls to give to our friends and family and we stop at their houses along the way to my parents. It is super fun and our friends and family love it and look forward to it each Christmas eve.

We have had the same waitress for the 3-4 years and this year she recognized us and said “you guys come every Christmas eve right…i remember you guys and especially because of all the dozen boxes of cinnamon rolls you guys by” We love this tradition.
We had a nice Christmas eve at my Parents house. The kids were very excited and happy about their gifts from Grandma and Grandpa:-)
They are very blessed to have the most loving and amazing grandparents. Thanks Mom and Dad….we all love you so much!





We love are funny and goofy Grandpa……the kids loved these glasses he bought for them:-)

The family before Holy Supper at my parents house….i am taking the pic.

Christmas Tree 2010

CHRIST IS BORN!! GLORIFY HIM!!!!!!
Chritsmas Day at Church

Kids with Grandpa and Grandma on Christmas day at our house.

Day after christmas……..Just chillin after a busy few days.

We had an Amazing and very BLESSED Christmas 2010

Luke skywalkers, spiderman,princess OH MY January 3, 2011

October 29, 2010
Noah had his class Halloween party Friday. I am one of two room moms so we were in charge of the party and i LOVED it. I had so much fun planning, dressing up, setting up the party and running the party with the help of my fabulous co-room mom.





Karlie, Noah’s little girlfriend:-)

Noah’s Kindergarten class 10/29/2010

The kids had so much fun and so did I
I always wanted to be room mom and i love it!!!!!!!

Fall is in the air January 3, 2011

Oct 9, 2010
A fun day at Sonny Acres pumpkin farm with Mamma and Baba

Silas could not WAIT to go down the “big slide”

We has a great time. Poor Noah got sick just as we got to the farm but he was a tropper and made the best of the time we were there. Of course we cut our day very short because it was clear Noah was not feeling well at all.

We made a quick stop at target so i could pick up everything i needed to make the kids costumes.
I found this fabulous witch hat for myself and Silas just had to wear it. He was a HUGE hit throughout Target and everyone thought he was so cute…he was:-)

The loves of our lives December 5, 2010

Spring 2010

Our Neighbor Kelly is a photography student.
Eric is mentoring her and she is always wanting to shoot photos of the kids.
We did a little spring photo shoot in April.
I think they turned out super cute….i just love that they are so organic and not in a stuffy studio.



Noah 5yrs, Silas 3.5 yrs and Zofia 2yrs
The boys would not cooperate for individual shots so we just got Zofia. She is just so adorable in these photos. Feel so blessed to have Zofia….the little daughter i always dreamed of.

Noah is FIVE……oh my December 5, 2010

April 2010

I can not believe that our first born child is five years old already.
Noah is the most amazing, compassionate and smart five year old.
He brings such joy into our lives.
He is our miracle baby as the docs thought i was miscarrying and wanted me to have a D and C.
I am so glad that i put my faith in God and not the doctors and went for a second opinion because i can not imagine our life without our sweet Noah.

Happy birthday stinky hims ( that is a nickname eric came up with when Noah was a baby….don;t ask just laugh and smile lol)
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUDDY!

We had a fabulous stars wars themed party for Noah.

Another fabulous cake by Michelle

Present time!!!!!!!! Noah is such a blessed little boy…he received just wonderful presents.


Noah thanking Auntie Mary….he is such a sweet little man:-)

Instead of treat bags i put the ingredients for home made playdoh in a mason jar and gave on to each child. It was a big hit and so much more useful and better then a bag full of candy and silly little toys.

Buddies


Casey, Noah and Alexander

Preschool screening March 25, 2009

I will be taking Noah to the district for his preschool screening today. It is not a requirement but I felt it was important. I guess as a former preschool teacher myself I want to make sure he is on track.
I am SO nervous.
I know he will do great but i have struggled a lot this year with my decision to keep Noah home. I have tired very hard to be consistent with doing “school time” with Noah and making sure he is on track developmentally. He enjoys having “school time “ with me and he really likes learning.
So i feel like today is a test for me to make sure i did my part in teaching all the things my 3.5 year old should know plus more.
I know it is not about me and if i did a good Job but i sometimes feel guilty that i kept Noah home.

Noah and I needed this year at home together given how crazy thelast two years was for all of us. It was a time of fabulous bonding and we both needed that so much.
I pray that Noah had a good morning and listens to the teachers and has fun with it.

I am so excited for him to start preschool in the fall. This all goes along with the new chapter in my life and I am very excited about it.

He has not even started 4year old preschool and I am already crying….i just can not believe how big my baby is and in the last few months he has matured so much!

I know I will miss him while he is gone but it will give Silas and I a chance to bond and spend some one on one time together and sweet little Silas needs that….he is such a mommas boy and he took my sickness and hospital stay the hardest ( he still talks about when I was in the hospital and how that was BAD) so this will be really good for us.

It is amazing how at one minute it feels like so much has unraveled and the next minute everything has fallen into to place so perfectly.

We are ready for Noah to go out into the world and spread his wings.

What GLORIOUS day March 5, 2009

At around 9ish this morning I was trying to decide what we should do since it was so beautiful outside.
I thought we would just play outside and walk to the park but then I decided we needed to go to the Zoo. So I packed our lunch and out the door we were in no time.

I have not taken all three to the zoo by myself yet and I was very nervous.
I gave my double stroller to my parents for them to use when they have the boys. After I had Zofia Noah and Silas would fight over who got to sit in the stroller next to Zofia and it was a battle I was not willing to pick. So I thought it would get better use and Baba and Papu’s
Noah and Silas are both GREAT at walking for a long time but Silas is FAST and when i say FAST I mean FAST for such a little guy and so that makes me nervous when we are at places like the Zoo and i am alone.

Today I decided to face that fear and go…. how bad could it be, I just relaxed and took a deep breath and said a pray.
IT WAS FABULOUS.

The Boys were TERRIFIC and Zofia just chilled in style in the stroller.
I could not have asked for better behaved children today…. they made me so proud; so proud that at one point during our Zoo trip I was in tears…imagine that HAHAHA.

Every time we go to the Zoo the boys say they want to see the Dolphin show but once we get close to being inside they freak out. So today they said
“We go see Dolphin show mama”
I said “sure thing”
And off we went to the dolphin show and made it INSIDE…. this is a first for the boys.
We climbed up to our seats and waited. Soon the music came on and the Dolphins and their trainers made their grand entrance…. they boys were thrilled and both hugged me…. i got all choked up and tears filled my eyes. I was so excited to finally feel GREAT again. No one can understand what I mean when I say today was an accomplishment…. it really was. I am feeling better and I am FINALLY able to have fun with my precious children and really there is nothing better…..Eric being there is the only thing that could have made it better.
The boys KNOW when mommy is feeling better and they get really excited and when they hugged me at the start of the Dolphin show that was their way of telling me they were so excited and so happy to be there with me not a babysitter while their mom was sick. It was just a glorious feeling.
The Zoo is so great and we are only 2.2 miles away so i am going to try and make this a regular outing especially now that I know I can do it alone.

I have no pics:( My camera was dead but that is ok because the memories of today are so vivid in my mind and tucked away ever so gently in my heart.

Thanks for FABULOUSLY Glorious day Noah, Silas and Zofia I love you all so, so, so very much!

Survial mode February 14, 2009

Yesterday something happened that disturbed me very much as a mother.
The boys were TERRIBLE ALL DAY yesterday and so finally at 5.57pm exactly after the 45896 they pushed and hit Zofia I put them to bed without dinner.
They were shocked to say the least; Eric was not even home yet. They told me all about how they needed to eat dinner and put on PJ’s and watch TV with daddy first and I explained to them that they were not being good boys and bed was it end of story.

After I put them to bed I sat on the couch with Zofia and felt like the BIGGEST failure ever. Eric came home a few minutes later and I explained to him what happened. He went upstairs to talk to them and then came down and asked if I had eaten. I told him no and that his dinner was on the counter he looked at it once and said I am going to get a burrito and asked if i wanted anything. That was funny because I literally through something together and called it dinner….this has never happened. I could not even make a proper dinner because the boys were so BAD.

After we ate and I put Zofia to bed I sat and pondered about what happened today.

It was them that I began to cry and realized that I had lost control of my kids.
Last year when I was sick and prego with Zofia I entered SURVIAL MODE. I did whatever I could do to make life easy for the boys and I.
I let them run the show because I could not discipline them the right way and could not chase after them, I sometimes could not even talk to them without getting so out of breath i would have to take a break to catch my breath and by that time I had lost there attention. They were only 1.5 and 2.5 year old.
Then I went on home bedrest and then hospital bedrest for a month. There lives were changed upside down in a matter of weeks. Once I had Zofia and was home I had a nanny and other family and friends coming over everyday to help me because I was so sick and there was no structure really at all.

This summer when I felt better we were so busy making up for lost time that I did not even pay attention to how OUT OF CONTROL things had gotten.
Then I got sick again and I went into survival mode again without even realizing it. This time it was even worse because I did not have as much help as when I was prego with Zofia or after I had here. I had felt good for four months so there was no need to keep the nanny around or have friend and family over as often to help. I did not ask for help when I got sick again in October because I was too ashamed and did not want to admit that I needed help I just wanted to be better and be normal.

I went to school for child development, I worked in preschools, kindergartens and daycares, I was a nanny and I taught parents tips and tools for good parenting. How could I admit that I lost control and that I did not know what to do?
I was a pro at this yet I was failing.

Over the last several weeks I would often be weepy and sad and confused for no reason that I could think of at least, I just felt like something was off and I could not figure it out.

Finally last night it all hit me and I realized it was time that I let the boys know that mommy is better and that mommy means business and I knew no other way to gain control again.

My Survival mode became a habit or a rut if you will. It was all I knew for what felt like a really long time.

I decided I needed to make a routine for the morning and STICK TO IT. The mornings will be structured, filled with learning time, structured free play and many educational and social outings.

I will start on Monday and i know it will take time for everyone to adjust but once we do we will LOVE it and be happy.

I realize that it is not my fault but what I HAD to do to survive while my heart was giving out and I was too sick to sweep the floor. My heart failure relapse happened so quick that I never had a chance to figure out the RIGHT thing to do, I am not even sure there was a RIGHT thing to do in such a situation. You do what you have to do to survive.

I would be lying if I said I was not a little sad and teary eyed as I write this but that is just because the trauma of the last two years really hits me at moments like this the most.
In the end this is just going to bring me closer to my kids and make all of us stronger.

I know that God played a role in yesterday’s events and it was his way of WAKING ME UP.
It is times like this when I realize how important my relationship with God is and how when you feel like you have lost control and it will be too herd to pick yourself up God is right there to help you.
He gave me the wisdom and strength to face my worst fear.
In my heart I have known that I lost control and I did not know where to begin to gain that control back.
Right before the final straw last night I stepped into our Icon corner by myself and said a prayer and asked God to please help me through this and to give me the strength, courage and wisdom to get in control.
I was afraid, I was embarrassed and I was just at a loss, I felt like a failure.

I am looking forward to this new routine!

If anyone has any words of wisdom or ideas or encouragement I AM OPEN to ALL them just leave a comment or e-mail me at julianameng@yahoo.com

Thanks in advance:-)